I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
