I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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