The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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