is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
