my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
