If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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