Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
