She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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