ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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