is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize