apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
