nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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