so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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