we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
