i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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