You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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