Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
