I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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