'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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