I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
