Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
