When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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