i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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