I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
