I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
