cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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