five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
