What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
