OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize