Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
