dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
