I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
