So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize