Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What did we do last night that was yellow?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
