Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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