In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
