All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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