Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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