wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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