He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
