Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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