Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
im on a boat
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