The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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