You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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