bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
