NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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