we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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