It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
