therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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