The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Buhtt sex?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
