belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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