if you like me you must not know who I am
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
then he tried to convert me to islam
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
