is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
organizing the empties. That sober.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize