He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
