everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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