Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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