Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
