how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
