wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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