a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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