Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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