yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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