did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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