so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize