and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
