Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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