Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
