she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
