Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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