This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
